Wow!! Where do I even begin? These past few years have been such a world wind of emotion. For awhile I was totally convinced that I didn't want more kids. I was content to have forever just be my and my sweet husband who will never know just how much he means to me, but I will spend forever trying to show him. I knew that my contentment was more fear than anything. I guess when you have lost a child in order move past all the hurt you have to come to a place where if it where to all happen again exactly the same way you know you could survive it. I just recently found out that I am pregnant again now for the third time. There is always worry and fear of the unknown but I love this baby no matter what. The last pieces of my heart have begun to heal. There will always be a scar carved out for my sweet Johnathan, but to think that in just 7 1/2 short months I will get to hold another precious baby that I created is an overwhelming thought. That I will kiss their cheeks, fingers and toes. I will rock them to sleep and sing sweet lullabies to them is something that my heart could burst just thinking about.
Its very early in my pregnancy I am only about 6 1/2 weeks now. I feel great so far. Other than a little caffeine withdrawal. I told myself that I was going to wait until at least 10 weeks to tell people guess I didn't do so well with that. But I think that it so important to believe the best and that everything is ok and let God protect my little baby. I can't just expect something is wrong and wait to be proven otherwise. This baby deserves more than that, and frankly I deserve more than that. So we are just going to believe that this baby is exactly who God wants them to be and nothing I do or anyone else does will change that.
We are so blessed to be able to share all of this with you. I know many of you have been praying for us for many years. From the very deepest part of me I thank you all for your love and support through these years. We are so excited to share this experience with all of you. This baby will be coming just after the two year anniversary of Johnathan's passing. Which I think is Gods perfect way of letting us know that he is totally in control and has not forgotten us nor will he ever leave. What a great way to turn a month of morning into a month of joyful healing. Thank you God for watching over my family.
Yay Cherie! So excited! Praying and believing for the best along with you.
ReplyDeleteOh, man...now I'm crying while trying to get the kids ready for school.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is so full of joy over the news of this baby...it truly does feel like God is letting you know that He's got that baby in his hands. And like even the worst thing can be turned around to prove that He is God and that He is still in the middle of it all.
I can't wait to kiss this sweet bundle of joy, hope and promise.