Emma Magdelena Swain

Well I am going to do my best to recall everything that happened. I won't lie I was a little out of it at times. I need to give you all a little background first. A lot of you know that when I had my son I was a mandatory c-section for obvious reasons. There wasn't a whole lot I could control. When I found out I was pregnant with Emma there were two things that I desperately wanted. One to have a drug free birth and two for a successful VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). VBAC being the more important to me. Well one out of two isn't bad. I fought for the first 14 weeks of pregnancy to find a Doctor that would let me attempt both and didn't look at me like I was crazy or that I was stupid for trying. I knew what I want and what I was willing to put my body through. I finally found one who was so supportive and just one of the most amazing doctors I have come across in a long time.
So with that said. Friday October 15th was my last day of work. Mind you my due date was the 17th so I was working right up until the end. It was tough. I felt my body relax when I left that day. Not because my job is stressful or anything just that I knew that the next stage was for her to come and that made me excited. Sure enough at 2:30 in the morning I woke up with what I was sure had to be labor pains. Mind you I have never been in labor before because everything was scheduled with Johnathan. So I got up and did a couple of things to try and see if it was the real thing or not. Went to the bathroom got some water tried to lye down in a few different positions to get back to sleep. Nothing was really working the discomfort just get coming. So I can't remember what time it was but I called my sister who was one of my doula's and part of my support team. She said it sounded like it could be the start of labor but it was probably early and that I should try to get some sleep if I could. Well I might have dozed of in between contractions but it was not much relief. So at about 7am I would say I made the call to the doctor. Only to find out that my doctor was not on call that weekend. So someone else would be delivering Emma. I was devastated. I have waited so long to find this doctor and had spent time going through my birth plan with him I was sure we were on the same page for everything. Now someone I didn't know and who didn't know me or anything about our situation or was going to deliver my baby. Fear totally set in. She told me that she wanted me to go in and be check to see what was happening. So we grabbed all the bags and off to sister's hospital we went. I would say we got there around 8:30am. They hooked me up to all the monitors and check to see if I was dilating. NOT even a little. What in the world how could nothing be happening after contracting all night. So they sent me home. I spent the day at my mom's just because I could be with my sister. It was a long day of trying to sleep(unsuccessfully)while contracting every 7-15minutes. Well at around 7pm I stood up to go to the bathroom and my water broke. Well to be honest I thought I just peed my pants. But considering it happened again just few minutes later I realized that it was in fact my water. So I called the doctor again and off we were back to the hospital. Now when I got there I was only dilated one centimeter so we settle in for long night thinking that Emma would be along sometime early in the morning. Now this is where it starts to get a little fuzzy so I am hoping that my sister and Tara (my other fabulous doula) will add some details I might miss.
This is what I remember and the time frame I definitely can't recall. My contractions were becoming more intense and closer together which is good this should have caused me to keep dilating. Well there were a couple different times I tried the shower. Water seem to be great release for pain. There first time was wonderful except for the fact that the hose on my shower head was broken and because I was sitting down didn't notice that for who knows how long there was water shooting all over the bathroom. It was literally flying across the room and spraying all of the counters, mirror and floor. By the time anyone noticed it had flooded the floor and was now making its way out of my bathroom into the labor room out the door and down the hall of the labor and delivery ward. It is hysterical now but I didn't really care at the time I was in a far amount of pain by this then. I just remember looking up at my nurse at the time her name was Becky she was so sweet. I had like 5 nurses by the time Emma came out that how long it was. Anyways I remember looking at her shoes and the bottom of her paints. She was soaked just from walking in the bathroom. I felt so bad. So after the second time in the shower I came out and got dressed since the Doctor came in. This was it the moment I new things would change. This was the Doctor I didn't know and was so afraid of what she would have to say. Sure enough when she checked my I think I was 3 centimeters. At this point it had been somewhere around 34 hours since my contractions started and about 17 hours since my water broke. Then she said it. Two options. One for some drugs to help me relax(she tossed around morphine) which when I think about it now I'm sure she knew I would say no to. Two to start pitocin to get labor moving. After the second time in the shower my labor seem to slow down. So I opted for pitocin. I really wanted to stay away from anything but it didn't look like that was going to happen. So they started it off slowly increasing it over the new couple hours. Sure enough the contractions got stronger and closer together. Mind you I was so exhausted at this point each contract really took all of my concentration to get through. The doctor came in to check me again and I was only four centimeters. Not the progresses I was hoping for. My body began to shut down I felt like I couldn't take anymore. After all this time to only be four centimeters was so discouraging. So at one last attempt I agreed very reluctantly to an epidural. The one thing I didn't want. I could still feel enough to know when I was contracting but not enough so that I got some rest. Suddenly I woke with this horrible urge to push. Without getting to graphic I will merely say it is one of the most uncomfortable feelings ever. So I had someone I don't even remember who go get the doctor I wanted them to check me. When they did she said I was 6 centimeters. I WAS DONE. I had nothing left. I could do it anymore my body was not cooperating and I just couldn't stand the pain anymore. I was only 6 even with the epidural. VBAC at this point just seemed so far away. I asked for a c-section. Now for me to ask you have to know I was really in a lot of pain we are talking 41 hours of labor at this point. So they called the anesthesiologist to come to get me ready for surgery. In the amount of time it took him to get to me (he was right in the middle of another epidural) which was probably around a half hour my pain had tripled. I was sobbing from it hurting so much. I could even control my breathing anymore. I was just gasping for air to get through them. The anesthesiologist literally came running down the hall to get to me. He came in and drugged me for surgery so now I couldn't feel anything except the pressure to push a little. My doctor was in scrubs my nurses where in scrubs I was prepped and begging for everyone to hurry. The in came my doctor. She wanted to check me one last time. I was sure it was pointless a part of me didn't even want her to. I had settle on the fact that VBAC wasn't going to happen and that I just wanted it to be over. So when she said 9 1/2 centimeters the first thing that came out of my mouth I am pretty sure wasn't very nice. But anyways,I could't believe that I was literally on my way into the O.R. and God intervened with other plans. His hand was all over this. I had already given up and after all this time found new reason to keep fighting. Not to mention that the doctor I was so concerned about quite frankly is the one who talked me out of the c-section. How fantastic is it that she ended up being exactly who God had meant to deliver my sweet Emma. She was great. So since I was now already drugged for surgery which was stronger than just the epidural we decided to wait just little while for that last 1/2 centimeter and some of the drugs to were off. I wasn't feeling anything really so I was ok with waiting. At about 8:50 or so I felt that overwhelming urge to push again. It was so overpowering and perfect timing the doctor walked in and check me. It was time to start pushing. Whooohoo!!!!! I had been waiting for 43hours to hear those words. As soon as I started everyone was running around in a panic. Apparently I was a good pusher and she was coming fast. She was out in 11 minutes. My sweet Emma Magdelena was born at 9:11pm Sunday October 17th (my actual due date. She was 8lbs 8oz 21 3/4" long. I did it!!!!!!!! MY VBAC!!! in the end the drugs didn't even matter. I fought and fought and I did it I got my VBAC. She was here forever in our arms and heart. How I have waited for this day. My beautiful daughter was here. I and brought her into this world. What a wonderful feeling and experience. I would do it all over again. It's no joke when people say it is ALL worth it.